THE GOOSE STORY. The goose story is a family story that I have not yet told. It was a favorite of of Mary Jane’s mother’s mother, who was born in a village in Italy. She never learned English so I am recording a story that Mary Jane has translated. The story was retold a number of times to ladies assembled in Mary Jane’s grandmother’s kitchen.
A man is walking by a movie theater with his pet goose when he sees that the theater is playing a movie he has always wanted to see. It’s the last showing. So, he tries to buy a ticket.
But the ticket-seller won’t let him take his goose in. He goes into an alley and stuffs the goose into his pants.
Then he goes back, and buys his ticket. He finds a seat in the theater next to two older ladies. Once he’s been sitting for a while, though, the
goose gets very hot and restless. So, to make the goose more comfortable, he unzips his fly and pulls the goose’s head and neck out.
The lady beside him becomes agitated and says to her friend: “Gert, the man next to me, he’s opened his fly.” Gert replies: “Gen, you’ve been married for
forty years. Don’t tell me he’s got something you’ve never seen before.”
Pause.
“No, but it’s eating my popcorn.”