Pater Familias

KABADDI AND SOCCER BALL TAG. I posted here about the game of soccer ball tag which our playmates invented when we were about ten. Kabaddi reminds me of soccer ball tag in that both involve an initial tag and then a joint effort to prevent a player from escaping, an effort which in each case can lead to physical violence (The Wall Street Journal article says that: “Opponents get a point if they can prevent [a raider] from returning by wrestling, tackling or body-slamming him until he runs out of breath.”). I am pleased that inventors of games can think alike in no matter what century. I note another similarity. Both sports were developed for a purpose. The Wall Street Journal article says that kabaddi’s backers “believe it developed as a way for warriors to learn self-defense.” Soccer ball tag developed, I have always believed, because it produced satisfying fights, with the added advantage that because sides were always changing, grudges did not develop.

WAR STORIES—THE HAIRY HAND. One of the other sections in my first year (there were four sections, each with over 100 students), gave rise to a law student war story in which the student came out on top. The events took place on the first or second day of classes, and involved Hawkins v. McGee, a case which often leads off the contracts course. (It is featured in THE PAPER CHASE, both book and movie.) The case is described in this wikipedia article. The doctor who contracted to perform a skin graft on Hawkins’s hand “guaranteed to make the injured hand a ‘one hundred percent good hand’”, but took the new skin from the chest area, thus creating the “hairy hand.” If you have not attended law school, it may not occur to you that the case is important for its holding on contract damages. The court held that Hawkins was entitled to expectation damages, “the difference between the value of what Hawkins was promised to receive–a ‘one hundred percent good hand’– and what he in fact received–a hairy palm” All this was brought out in the Socratic questioning. What happened next is what made for the war story. There had also been a malpractice claim which had been dismissed. As I heard the story, the professor asked the student he had been questioning what he thought of the malpractice claim. The student ventured that it was malpractice, that “no doctor worth his salt would make this mistake.” The Socratic questioner struck, asking sarcastically, “How do you know, are you a doctor?” The answer was yes. This was the only doctor in our class. The story was all over the school 15 minutes after the end of class.

MY FIRST LAW SCHOOL CLASS. Nick has his first law school class today. I can still remember my first class some 45 years ago. It featured a lengthy Socratic questioning by Professor Keeton, a veteran Texas trial lawyer, of a fellow student who had evidently mastered Thomistic philosophy. Professor Keeton was introducing us to the common law way of thinking. The student’s systematic world view enabled him to hold his ground. I was hopeful that my other classes would be as interesting—and they were.

ROBINS AND BLUE JAYS. I worked with a lot of lawyers from New Orleans, and they all attached great importance to food. (One greeting: “How’ve you been eating?”) One New Orleans lawyer used to say that all Yankee food was acceptable if you put tobasco sauce on it. When he saw a bird, he would often comment on whether it was good eating. For example: “Robins, those are good eating.” Most birds were good eating. Apparently blue jays are not good eating.

SQUIRREL. I had a case in Missouri, and I was invited to a local lawyer’s house for “pot luck.” It was more than pot luck because it was a very special meal. One of the courses was squirrel, which my host had shot himself. It was very good if you like dark meat, as I do. Later I told my mother about how I had eaten squirrel, and that it was very good. My mother seemed troubled by this, but didn’t say anything, so I added the fabrication that the squirrel was served with the bushy tale alongside. “Oh, no.” said my mother.

BEAR. My mother was once given some bear meat by a neighbor. She decided to serve it as a first course at a dinner party for close friends. She marinated it for over 24 hours so it wouldn’t be tough and told our friends that she would be serving “mystery meat.” The time came when she was bringing the “mystery meat” out of the kitchen to serve it. I was at an age when a barking noise seemed funny, so I made a barking noise. This was a mistake because the man in the couple insisted on skipping the bear meat course. The explanation that the “mystery meat” was simply bear meat was of no avail. I liked the bear meat a lot, but have never encountered a restaurant that served it.

DINING IN THE FIFTIES. Kids, I was taught to order new things at restaurants, but we went to restaurants rarely, unless we were away from home. My mother cooked almost every meal. Dinner was meat, potatoes, a vegetable, and dessert. My mother never used garlic. Lettuce was usually iceberg lettuce. Zucchini arrived as a new vegetable sometime in the fifties. (Before that there was yellow summer squash). Pizza wasn’t widely available. The first time I had pizza was when my mother’s friend Mrs. Moreno made white pizza and brought it over to us. The fast food place in town was the White Castle. What is generally consideredt he first McDonald’s in the country opened in a neighboring town in 1955, and I remember when the sign about sales read in the millions. I don’t recall any Chinese restaurants in town, but one of our favorite meals was the chop suey my mother made for us.

SEA URCHIN. Sea urchin has a good reputation as a delicacy. This wikipedia article indicates that in Japan it sells for as much as $450 per kilogram. It was a featured special at the Oyster Bar when I tried it some 25 years ago.I picked it partly because I was raised to order items on a menu that I had never had before. I was also raised to finish everything on my plate, so I did, but I think that sea urchin is very much overrated.

DURIAN. Durian is a controversial Indonesian fruit.This wikipedia article says that: “The smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust and has been described variously as almonds, rotten onions, turpentine and gym socks. The odour has led to the fruit’s banishment from certain hotels and public transportation in southeast Asia.” The article contains quotes that are even more graphic descriptions of the smell. Annalisa and I have tried durian ice cream, which was offered to us by my niece Molly Lazar. It was delicious, and we understood why people are so enthusiastic about the flavor. On the other hand, we may not have had the full durian experience, which apparently involves more than ice cream.

CHEESE STORIES. Back in the day, Americans were not used to the strong cheeses of Europe, so different from Valveeta and American cheese. A friend told me of being on a train passing through a checkpoint at the East German border when the Berlin Wall was new. A menacing East German soldier entered his compartment and ordered him to open his suitcase. His suitcase contained an extremely stinky cheese. The soldier caught a whiff and ended the inspection. Mary Jane and a girlfriend were on a train in Italy in the sixties when a group of soccer players entered their compartment and started flirting with them. One of them managed to convey the question: “Do you have any cheese?” The girls did have some strong cheese with them and offered it to the young men. The young men took the cheese, opened the window and threw the cheese out.