ARE PERSONALITIES OF TWINS ONLY FIFTY PER CENT THE SAME? The research that leads to a book like Daniel Nettle’s PERSONALITY necessarily uses studies of identical twins that are raised apart. I am an identical twin and I have the impression that my brother and I have very similar personalities—certainly it seems to me that my personality is much more like my brother’s than like anyone else I have met. Our parents made strong efforts to treat us exactly the same, and we were roommates through law school, although seeing each other only a few times a year since then. If genetics only influenced 50% of our personalities and the environment in the home has only a slight effect on personality development, how did we become so similar? Or maybe we aren’t as much alike as I think….
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They grew up together, but my two brothers that are identical twins have pretty different personalities. Mom always remarks about how one treasured looking nice and foisted off his shabby clothes to the other brother who happily accepted. I’ve noticed their intense dislike of having to be alone for any significant period of time. They are very social guys, to say the least.
I wish I knew Elmer better so I could compare Phil and Elmer. On the other hand, as the years have gone by, I suspect I know Phil very little. I find it hard to imagine his inner life. And, now, after all these decades together, has come the final shock: we both have realized that Phil instinctively does not speak from his mind and heart–he invents, on the spot, something for effect. This means, I suppose, he is basically a performance artist, improvising a life and VARIOUS but sometimes similar characters at a moment’s notice. Elmer, does this sound familiar to you? Do you live this way? To get a laugh, a smile, an astonished look? Or do you genuinely try to express your “true self”? Sorry if this is too personal.
I don’t mean to scare you, Mom, but I find myself saying a lot of things just to provoke shock and laughter. Especially Lee. Sometimes I get him, other times he just gives me an indulgent smile. Both are rewards enough to keep me clowning and inventing.
As you said, I can’t really compare Uncle Elmer and my dad as well as I’d like, but I have noticed that Dad strongly prefers company to being alone. As I like to say, Dad is the only person I know who plays team solitaire. He also enjoys reading in a room with someone who’s reading or working, even if we’re not doing the Schaefer thing and calling out interesting tidbits.
Having just traveled with Elmer, I’m still amazed at the similar thought patterns despite years of liv ing apart. Mary Jane has it just right.
By the way, having seen Phil more over the years, I kept calling Elmer, Phil.
Mr. Weisfelder, any prime examples you could share with us? I’m very interested in hearing about common behavioral or conversational patterns the twins share. I get to see them together so infrequently it’s hard to compare them. When they are together, though, I notice that my dad is relaxed and young like he is at no other time.
This is getting very personal. I should try to think of an example from long ago. I loved traveling with Margo and Elmer. So I’d better not tell too many stories out of school since I want to travel with them again.
“Calling out interesting tidbits” definitely sounded familiar, but I do that too. We used to get mail for a mysterious Chris Schaefer. Perhaps that was my alter Schaeferian ego. (Back in grad school, all of us used to say that certain things were very “Schaeferian!”)
Mary Jane’s idea about inventing stories on the spot seems familiar also. Margo attributed that to Elmer’s fantastic memory. I had some doubts, however, when he quoted me as saying things that I absolutely never recall thinking, much less saying!
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We know about identical twins because they have identical physical features, their mannerisms are the same and so too are their attitudes. In fact, to exaggerate their sameness, many identical twins dress alike and try to fool people as to their identity. After the discovery of the DNA, the age old question of whether heredity or environment plays a greater role in how one’s life unfolds, may have a new twist. There is no question that identical twins having almost the same DNA would be very similar.